Dispatch 5.2.23
I've returned from the road. I'm headed into the studio. Here's what's on my mind & in my ears.
I’ve returned from the road. I went out in search of connection, in search of people, in search of the thing I’ve been saying I’m supposed to be doing – being a musician – and I found it.
I found that it wasn’t always easy. I found my doubts and fears along the way. But I also found strangers who connected deeply with the words I was singing. I found the forest and the trees and an empty campsite to read Walt Whitman out loud by myself without any thought of who might hear me.
I found rolling green hills where usually there'd only been brown, the months of California rain having made some positive change (despite the news only reporting on the catastrophes). And I found peace in cruise control on I-5, no music or podcast playing on the radio, just the sounds of the car on the road and light rain falling slowly on the windshield.
I did listen to a few things, though:
MOTOMAMI by Rosalia – not what you’d expect from me, but her notion of “collage” has been a big one lately, the way she throws all sorts of genres/moods/styles of singing together from one song to the next. She has this incredible ability to jump between characters while building a central authentic voice.
Be The Wheel by Theo Katzman – great songs, a great band, playing together greatly. Sometimes we loop on songs over and over again; this is an ALBUM you can loop on.
The Diary of a CEO episode with Seth Rogan – “Of course sometimes I get anxious. What I do is really anxiety inducing.” Was a solid reminder that it’s just a part of the ride.
But mostly, I prefer the silence: it’s an opportunity for uninterrupted thinking, and it’s often when I do my songwriting. I don’t need instruments around – in fact, they can be distracting. I just need to hear the music in my head, to hear the cadence of the melody and some fragments of words that I then cobble together, saying the same few phrases over and over again until the puzzle pieces of ideas/rhymes/syllables/sounds all fit together. You’ve just got to trust your inner ear sometimes, especially when the thing you’re working on doesn’t even exist yet.
What was most interesting about this string of shows was the fact that I was both sharing old tunes with people for the first time while ALSO road testing new ones, taking these things that have only existed in my head out into that real world.
It’s been cool to see what connects, what doesn’t, and what just needs more work. I don’t write songs easily, so I scrap them with even less ease. It’s more a matter of finding my voice in the song, tweaking the How more than the What. It’s a puzzle, and it’s important for me to remember that I love this particular game. Sometimes I get too self-important about it all. I forget it’s just me twisting ‘round my own personal rubix cube until it sits just right enough for my liking.
It’s all led me to the precipice of a new record. A few songs are already recorded. More dates are booked for the end of May. I don’t yet feel ready, but I know I will be.
As I dive in, expect dispatches every Tuesday. I’ll also be sending some additional essays about music and the themes of my music, plus clips of the new songs.
What I want more than anything is to be reminded of the fact that we are all very far from being alone in our experiences. If something ever jumps out at you, please share it too! Drop a comment, shoot me a DM or an email, or just show me what you’ve been working on.
I’m finally doing what I say I’ve been wanting to do for a while. I hope you are too.
-David